So I've been waiting for this juicy pair of ankle boots to arrive all day, not using the phone because I left a note for the UPS guy to call me or come in the front door to ring my doorbell so I can sign. Waiting, waiting, not making phone calls I need to make because GOD DAMN I WANT THOSE SHOES. After refreshing the package progress page every twenty minutes since nine o'clock this morning (it is now five), the page changes and says First Attempt Made blah blah. So I run downstairs to find the UPS InfoNotice taped to the door says No Phone and THE MAILMAN CAME AND LOCKED THE DAMN FRONT DOOR. DESPITE MY NOTE. DAMN YOU MAILMAN. NO BONUS AT CHRISTMAS.